Feeling better today. Grateful I have this cool temporary job to enjoy.Yesterday I laid in the sun on the grass and watched clouds drift by. I was so peaceful. I was having a hard time focusing yesterday. I ended up going to the off and on boyfriends. You know I put up with stuff with him and yesterday I just told him how uncomfortable I am with some things. I am the one with the discomfort. I have to do something about it and I can't change him. I just don't see much of a future for us because I am feeling less willing to settle. So I felt emotionally hungover after our arguing, it was awful. He wants to put it behind us. I'm not so sure. I need to feel good about myself. I need to be my best. I need to show myself and others respect. I am tired of putting myself in a hurtful situation. I am really glad I have a counseling appointment tomorrow, she has been cancelling for the last month.I go to fill out paperwork for new part time evening job tonight. I need to stop sabotaging MY success for a man who may never change who I can't handle. It is ok to have my own needs and opinions. It is up to me to change this situation, and the only way to do it is to stay away. My attitude is not strong enough to say, ok I can put up with hurtfulness. I need to reread "Learning to Love Yourself".
Replies
Sounds like you need a change ! I think you need to find a best friend before you find a boyfriend !
Also thanks for the comment in my journal . I know that your right ! I just have a hard time practising it ! It\'s the \" easier said then done \" thing. Have a great day looking at clouds . I\'m off to work !
Sorry yoru having problems with your boyfriend. I hope when you see the counsellor you can talk through these issues and explore them. Glad that you got time to lye in the grass and watch the clouds drift by, it\'s always good to have ME time.
(((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
sometimes confusion can be a blessing. not knowing which way to go keeps us thinking about it until we make a decision that is best for us.
open your heart and know that when we listen carefully to ourselves, the answer always appears.
you don\'t have to decide today (or even tomorrow)
congrats on the job!
xo
Good for you! Once again I totally relate. I remember the futile arguments, and the hangover!!! I hope things get better for you soon, you\'ll feel much better once you\'re done with it. Love to you! xoxo
Sounds like you\'re sort of stuck in a rut with this guy. It\'s good you\'re seeing a counsellor tho hopefully it will help to put things in perspective. it always seems so much easier to see things clearly when you\'re looking in from the outside.
I love lying on the grass and watching the clouds and trees too!
nature is the best remedy; anne frank said it herself: whenever one is feeling alone or overwhelmed, one only needs to go out into nature to reaffirm that God is always with us.
be strong my love!