Feeling better today.  Grateful I have this cool temporary job to enjoy.Yesterday I laid in the sun on the grass and watched clouds drift by.  I was so peaceful.   I was having a hard time focusing yesterday.  I ended up going to the off and on boyfriends.  You know I put up with stuff with him and yesterday I just told him how uncomfortable I am with some things.  I am the one with the discomfort.  I have to do something about it and I can't change him.  I just don't see much of a future for us because I am feeling less willing to settle.  So I felt emotionally hungover after our arguing, it was awful.  He wants to put it behind us.  I'm not so sure.  I need to feel good about myself.  I need to be my best.  I need to show myself and others respect.  I am tired of putting myself in a hurtful situation. I am really glad I have a counseling appointment tomorrow, she has been cancelling for the last month.I go to fill out paperwork for new part time evening job tonight.  I need to stop sabotaging MY success for a man who may never change who I can't handle.  It is ok to have my own needs and opinions.  It is up to me to change this situation, and the only way to do it is to stay away.  My attitude is not strong enough to say, ok I can put up with hurtfulness.  I need to reread "Learning to Love Yourself".