I'm in limbo with the new job and the relat.I wasn't told I was hired yet, I think I am, just waiting for her to contact me after I dropped off my transcripts yesterday. It feels good to have a job that uses my degree (BA psych) which I have only done ONCE when I graduated ages ago (over 12 years or so).Im in limbo with relationship. I see this pattern. Mom has it w/ dad. I get hurt, I seek to tell him, not only does he not take responsibility for his part he gets mad and I get hurt again. I see this just happened two days ago and neither of us have contacted eachother since (wierd). I did see he rang just didn't leave a message. I am just sick of taking out my hurt feelings on him, he is having a hard enough time. I can't change him.Thanks for the support here it means alot.I am using the gym lately for the sauna and jacuzzi, and I went to a good AA meeting and shared some experience, strength and hope. I feel so grateful for a good meeting.I've been going to sleep early and still wanting more sleep. I tend to need a lot of sleep.I was going through the list in my head of how this mate is not someone healthy for me. I overlook so many negatives... I mean he is not a bad person I just know I deserve someone who knows how to respect me (he doesn't and I'm sick of putting up with it). I am not here to teach him.One thing that is kinda bugging me is I think he still supports his ex. I know they have kids together. I just know she has a tight hold on him - she is in control of whether or not he sees the kids. I don't want anything to do with it. She has recently disrespected me and I have a choice if I want to deal with her or not.Anyway it really hurts he's ignoring me now. He said this hurtful comment and I'd warned him I have PMS because we realized this is the time of month I get angry. It's not because of PMS - I am still angry because of stuff between us. Anyway his response to my hurt feelings was that I have PMS and I was assasinating him (I was simply trying to point out how what he said and how it was hurtful and why would he say that?)Anyway it hurts. I did tell him to give me space.You know I don't hate him. I don't want resentments towards him or his ex - I am a volunteer here.I haven't gotten into to counseling for nearly a month. I look forward to it next week. She had to cancel lately.Maybe this will be the last breakup.
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Good luck and hope you get the new job!!It sounds like you are being good to yourself and making time for pleasureable things like the sauna and jacuzzi-sounds nice! Good for you for going to AA meeting-we all need hope and support! Take care:0)
He sounds like he plays the victim role sometimes. I don\'t know if he\'s up to the hassle but he could take the visitation to court, it\'s against the law to control when he sees the kids, she would be in big trouble with the court. It might help just to get his mind at ease. Maybe put off conversations until there\'s no chance for him to blame it on something else. It sounds frustrating like he avoids taking responsibility - it\'s obvious you care alot!
I TRUELY HOPE U DO GET THE JOB, AND THE CHANCE TO USE UR SKILLS, I THINK IT WOULD CHANGE UR OUTLOOK ON ALOT OF THINGS IN UR LIFE. IM CERTAINLY NOT TELLIN YA WHAT TO DO, BUT THIS GUY JUST SEEMS AS THO HE IS THERE W/U WHEN ITS GOOD FOR \"HIM\" AND THAT HE DOESNT REALLY SEEM TO CARE ABOUT UR FEELINGS OR HOW HIS REMARKS MAKE U FEEL. U DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER, AND ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME B4 U \"TRUELY\" C THAT. UNTILL THEN, SO UR BEST TO MAKE \"URSELF\" HAPPY BCUZ ITS ABVIOUS THAT IF IT WERE LEFT UP TO HIM, UD REMAIN UNHAPPY. AS IF HE FEARS U GETTING STRONGER AND HEALTHIER. MEN ARE SOOO STRANGE! ILL SAY A PRAYER FOR THE JOB, LUV YA AND GOD BLESS UR GREAT BIG HEART!!!
i\'m getting back to my therapist for the first time since october....
we will feel so much better after that.....
(((((((((hugs))))))))))))
and keep on keepin on, it works if we work it.
I think you know what is right for you in your heart. I think that with relationships, if there is any doubt then you should seriously consider leaving but then there is the fear of lonliness. When i next have a relationship I\'m not going to settle for anything less than the best. you deserve that too after all you are such a lovely person. (you\'ve helped me so much)