I'm actually excited I got a part time GOOD job offer from somewhere my sis referred me to (she works there) and I applied a year ago, a different position more suited to me popped up. YAY. It brought up my off and on ex boyfriend (what is he?  We're currently on but) his just lack of compassion and inconsiderateness towards me and others and I'm just like wanting space.  Why is it the week before my period I am so sensitive?  And to tell him it's that time does not seem to help like if stuff bothers me he blames it on PMS so I am just not feeling really warm and cuddly towards him, besides this the day before was not good.  Oh God!I went to a cool Al Anon meeting and I hope to buy the book "From Survival to Recovery" because it addresses childhood issues I think could help me break past this pattern of dysfunctional relationships.  I have hope!Part of me is thinking I don't think things are going to work out between me and the ex.I had a using dream where I was wanting to take the biggest hit from the hugest joint (it was as big as a, how should I say this, penis!)  And it was being passed around the AA meeting place which I stopped going to because it is where I went with him, just to help me move on.  Man those using dreams happen even after nearly 3 1/2 years without pot, that addiction is just waiting for me.I sure need to go to a meeting.  It might be a little of a crunch with a part time job in addition to this temporary full time job.  Priorities!I joined the vegetarian group because for most of my life I eat meat less than once or twice a week and have at times abstained and I am wanting more discipline in this area of my life.It is really good to be here.  I am grateful I have a job that allows me to work while I "play" here at DS and on the computer.  Internet TV - now that could become my new addiction.  It would be really good to do some old journal typing while I have time to myself on the computer (even new job will allow me this privelege) since it is a liftime goal of mine (nearly 30 years of daily journals). I tend to procastinate.  God please remove my procastination and give me the right action to take!It is good to be clean and sober and have grace for myself and not beat myself up for getting back with the ex.  I sure look forward to a counseling appointment it's been nearly a month.