Wow, what a weekend.  My 3rd MA (marijuana anonymous) convention (missed last year).  This year the crying was minimal, the first 2 years I just poured tears.  It is so overwhelming to have people come from all over the states and elsewhere for a common problem and solution.  Anyway it was nice nice nice to stay in the hotel and to use the jacuzzi and attend the workshops and speaker meetings, and to have fellowship and a really nice banquet dinner next to a very special friend who lives far away, and to go to the dance and be part of the sobriety countdown.During the convention I was in touch w/ my ex and getting to the bottom of what happened, it is  very hard to trust him as he is deceitful and I am realizing how deceit is so negative/evil, it is not truth/light.  Apparently he did relapse for one day and now no longer has nearly 3 years clean and sober, anyway he is back to being mean and I just finally told him to leave me alone.  I am so sick of his not honoring my boundaries and just how hurtful he can be.  It feels good to want him to leave me alone but with his possible cancer diagnosis and now relapse (he is a heroin addict and this is really scary) and just his dishonesty and his demanding nature and his sweet nature just left, it has been painful.It was neat I got to lead the Al Anon meeting and tell some of my story Monday.  I picked topic "detachment" and I realize I have been through having an addict alcoholic boyfriend before and this time it is not so devastating, it is ok, my whole world is not dependent on him and his wellbeing and how well he could support me emotionally/socially, I have God and others and MYSELF to lean on.  There is still some loss and other feelings there I am discovering and looking forward to processing.  It finally felt  good to tell him to leave me alone, I have let myself be soooo mistreated by him and put up with it for so long, today I don't have to do that, I realize I can't change him!  I can only change me and my attitude.