I'm getting ready to go to a convention this weekend for Marijuana Anonymous and it ought to be exciting.In the meantime I'm doing a nice temp job that ought to last over a month - yay.I got my closet repacked and did a pretty good inventory and got rid of some things and also I was able to see I have a ways to go.  Anyway it felt good to make a dent in that project.My ex boyfriend went to the hospital Sunday night because his cough turned to pneumonia.  They are going to do a biopsy - he might have lung cancer and had a similar scare 2 years ago.  Anyway he is a smoker and maybe this will help him see the light.  I am so GLAD we are on better terms as he goes through this.  I don't want hatred to keep me from my love and connection to people.  He is pretty much back to his sweet demeanor self I remember when we first got back together because he is back on psych meds, when he went off them is when the anger started.  Anyway the trust is still not quite there as he does say things to get a reaction, not because he means them.  He wants me back.  I don't know if or when I will see him I know I have this gift for sick and dying loved ones I'd like to be there for him if it does not interfere with my codependency recovery/health.  I feel like the majority of support I get is to stay away when spiritually forgiveness in my heart is overall easier, it does not mean I have to repeat what doesn't work, it's just an erasement of the resentment and hatred I feel and maybe we'll see what happens.Thanks for being here for me.