I'm feeling a bit better the last week.  The sunny weather helps.  I also think I have some PMS mood symptoms that may be quite extreme sometimes.  I got a new temp job that hopefully will work out for some time and be challening, too, and I should be able to be online there, YAY.  I am still in contact with ex and I have not seen him, one day at a time.  It was hurtful in some ways to reconnect and did not bring out the best in me, and finally I feel some peace about it/us/him, though I am a little tempted to see him.  It's like he's back on meds like when we first got together and his sweetness is there versus his anger which came out when he went off them.  Anyway I really really appreciate the support here and from friends and my counselor and sponsor. My counselor says just to choose maybe twice a day to have a plan for that time and check my vulnerability if I want contact with him or not.  He's called me every day except for yesterday, and today I called him and listened and cried.  I did not return his call tonight, this is good for me.  I really appreciate those who responded to my request to read and respond to my journal, thank you!