Things are progressing along.  Every day I don't contact my ex I am left with the memories to process. I have read from Patricia Evans that the a way we heal from verbal abuse is by recogizing all the instances, which I feel this distance is giving me the opportunity to do. I am sad I have learned here how much I need to reach back to people who reach out and I have seen I am not very good at this in general.  I have few close friends.  Anyway I am sad to recognize how it hurts to not receive support in return for the support given.  Support is felt and not always expressed here and I am sad about the rejection this might feel like. I am taking care of self. I am doing a fun seasonal temporary job that I really enjoy.  I got to walk the doggie today.  I got to go for an exam which is always sort of uncomfortable but feels healing overall, to take care of me. I have some anger to deal with over the breakup and the trauma that happened around it with those who got involved.  I guess I am sad his family rejected for me for the help I gave him which was not recognized by them as such at the time.  Anyway prayer for them is helpful. I am in need of attending more meetings, not wanting to risk seeing ex at old meeting place, where I attended last week after the first absense ever lasting a whole 2 months.  Anyway it is tough and I try to be objective and not blame him, just to know that my ex boyfriend is there and it is not in my best interest to go and run into him unnecessarily when there are other meetings to attend.  I sat there and cried last time I was there, it was like ouch, it's over, and people didn't know why and I didn't tell them. Let me say I do not own a computer so rely on whatever job I am doing.  Fortunately in the last few months I have had a job where I was allowed to browse internet in between taking calls (a rarity) so my online use will be sporadic.  Please know I carry the mutual support I get here with me in my days and it means a lot.  Thank you.