I'm really excited to do some gift buying and giving for Christmas.  It is unlike me to wait so long to make purchases, for financial reasons, and due to time constraints I'll be doing it tomorrow night (shopping) and I'm really looking forward to it.  It is my favorite holiday.I'm quite glad my beau or off & on (status: seeing only eachother, though I'm not ready to commit to "boyfriend" again at this time, having seen too many breakups) well he made a good choice, a life changing choice, in helping himself and I am so GLAD.  I am glad I surrendered him, imagining him in the cup of God's big hands, because his problem of wanting to die is too big for me.  Anyway I am very pleased he has himself made a step in the right direction, though in going through this I need to keep that attitude of SURRENDER.  I KNOW I have helped him and this is what I stick around for, I do not believe God wants me to abandon my best friend/lover.  Anyway I guess I am detatched enough not to take him personally and he is taking responsibiliyt for the problems I have called him on and it's not perfect but all I really want is to be a good person and be in the best position I am fit for, that no one else can fill, to be the best ME.  I guess I also need to remember I am only a vessel for God to do his work if I keep the right attitude of SURRENDER and turning my will over to God as I understand God (God can do all things). I wore this cute little suit and rain coat today (thrift store) that is so new for me, my first own suit I bought myself!  It has short sleeves so is not too "conservative".  It is really trying on a different type of hat for me, with my new shorter hair, at my receptionist temp job in a really friendly office.  I am so BLESSED.