my exboyfrnd & i talked today for the 1st time in 3 1/2 wks besides him showing up thanksgiving.  he asked me to dinner tonite and last night, I stall, turn him down.  i am feeling less angry and self centered after seeing it is him who is doing bad, worse than me.  we had no closure, it was good to have some closure.  we got into an argument and avoided eachother and he lashed out in angry txts.  i didn't respond until thanksgiving and i've been responding.  telling him, no I don't have a byfrnd must have triggered his response to not give up on me (sorry no capital letters, typing job all week has my fingers lazy!) just wanted to get in  word, thanks so much for this forum, it's a Godsend :) i just get busy w/ chores and do stuff w/ me and try not to get caught back up in him.  i got on the phone last 2 days, good for me so tired from work, long commute, lack of 12 step meetings.  a guy at gas station was rude and got mad and I yelled at him! (my windows were closed and i was inside) how embarassing, not like the (sober) me AT ALL.  I need a meeting bad.  he (exbyfrnd)stopped going to any about a wk ago, we attended same meetings.  i still don't want to go there and deal w/ questions about us, why i "chopped off my hair" someone said, just isolating i guess. prefer more anonymous meetings or where I feel more real.  being in a relationship in an aa meeting restricted my realness i think, self imposing my sharing and stuff.