One day at a time....
There are a lot of things going on right now...where to begin. I guess the best place to start is with a funny story..
So...those that know me well know that I have an allergy to coconut. Any thing with coconut or touches coconut and it sends me into an itchy, coughing mess. Well...I broke out in an insane rash of hives last Saturday (two weeks ago). I took Benadryl and it went away...then came back...more Benadryl and it went away. This went on for a week and a half so finally I went to urgent care and got some steroids and a SUPER antihistamine. Well...still the freaking hives continued to come and go...something was getting to me. I doubled check EVERYTHING that I touched, ate, washed my hair and clothes with...NOTHING. Whelp...as I was sitting on my couch enjoying some delicious gummy bears....something said, "look at the bag". Well I did and guess what...."fractionated with coconut oil"!! WTF!!! No wonder I couldn't shake any of this...I kept eating these evil little things!!! LOL....dumb ass!!!
On another note...my husband is being very supportive of my mood swings!! One minute I am going along ok and then the next...I am lying on the floor crying. I can't think of a way to shake any of the negative thoughts and feelings. I can't help but wonder when we will get our chance to try again. We said that we wanted to wait until the end of the year but...I'm not sure I want to wait that long. I had to push my consult with a TAC doctor back because my husband is leaving for six weeks. So...that means that everything is pushed back another month. I know that patience is something I need to have...but that is soo not me. I want things now!!
I've stayed away from DS for a while because it was hard for me to see all the BFP and the happy pregnancies...but you know what...I can't be mad or upset with anyone...I am so happy for my DS sisters because I know what we all had to go through in order to get where you are. I guess I feel like a failure because my pregnancy ended the way it did. I know that one day I will be one of the lucky ones and I will hold my baby in my arms....but until then....I will pray and be patient...
So...those that know me well know that I have an allergy to coconut. Any thing with coconut or touches coconut and it sends me into an itchy, coughing mess. Well...I broke out in an insane rash of hives last Saturday (two weeks ago). I took Benadryl and it went away...then came back...more Benadryl and it went away. This went on for a week and a half so finally I went to urgent care and got some steroids and a SUPER antihistamine. Well...still the freaking hives continued to come and go...something was getting to me. I doubled check EVERYTHING that I touched, ate, washed my hair and clothes with...NOTHING. Whelp...as I was sitting on my couch enjoying some delicious gummy bears....something said, "look at the bag". Well I did and guess what...."fractionated with coconut oil"!! WTF!!! No wonder I couldn't shake any of this...I kept eating these evil little things!!! LOL....dumb ass!!!
On another note...my husband is being very supportive of my mood swings!! One minute I am going along ok and then the next...I am lying on the floor crying. I can't think of a way to shake any of the negative thoughts and feelings. I can't help but wonder when we will get our chance to try again. We said that we wanted to wait until the end of the year but...I'm not sure I want to wait that long. I had to push my consult with a TAC doctor back because my husband is leaving for six weeks. So...that means that everything is pushed back another month. I know that patience is something I need to have...but that is soo not me. I want things now!!
I've stayed away from DS for a while because it was hard for me to see all the BFP and the happy pregnancies...but you know what...I can't be mad or upset with anyone...I am so happy for my DS sisters because I know what we all had to go through in order to get where you are. I guess I feel like a failure because my pregnancy ended the way it did. I know that one day I will be one of the lucky ones and I will hold my baby in my arms....but until then....I will pray and be patient...
Replies
Gummie bears, who knew !
I hate the wait too. I hope you get going soon. I\'m glad you are feeling optimistic about your chances. It\'s important to keep going.
Damn the gummy bears haha! I\'m glad you updated friend. I\'m thinking of you :)
Glad to see an update!!
I would have never thought to look at Gummie Bears for a coconut allergy! So strange. Glad you figured it out at least.
I am sorry you had to push your TAC consult back, but all the timing will work out. It always seems to. Good luck!
And I hope you are enjoying your summer break!
Hives are the worst! So glad you found the culprit, but sorry it wasn\'t sooner! Hang in there! You are right your time will come soon and all of this crap will be worth it.
What a pain in the ass, sorry about the hives and stay away from those darn gummie bears haha, i also hope that you are among one of the lucky ones super soon! XO
No more gummy bears for you! LOL....so glad you looked at the ingredients or you really would have been like WTF!
I\'m sorry you\'re feeling down and I know exactly how you feel about being sad but happy for everyone. You deserve to have your miracle and patience is so hard to have during the process. I hope these weeks fly by so you can get back on the TTC train and closer to your little one in your arms. Praying and thinking of you. ((HUG))
That\'s crazy about the gummy bears! Who would have ever thought. Sorry about your mood swings and things going slower then you would like right now.So glad dh is being supportive though. Hang in there hun your time will come! Xoxo
I am picturing a big evil gummy bear sniggering at you behind your back haha. . Glad you are getting on as well as you can and totally understand staying away from DS we are all very conscious of not upsetting you and others suffering but I can imagine it is very hard for you. I often wonder how you\'re going so im glad you updated, find you some coconut free gummy bears xxxx
Forget about your mood swings. The great thing is that you have a partner who is understanding & supports you emotionally. That\'s rare. It\'s okay if you feel the need to stay away from DS. I\'m sure DS sisters would understand.
We all had hurdles to jump. I think I told u of my horror story of my twins. My last pregnancy with my son, I didn\'t come on DS and I didn\'t tell anyone on DS, neither did I tell most of my relatives or friends. I just made an announcement. A lot of people were in shock. But the end result was my bundle of joy (my rainbow baby). What a great journey. My friend of 48 years old just had her first child. When we want something bad enough, we usually get it. You WILL be a Mommy.
Thanks ladies!!! You guys will never know how much you all mean to me!! I love you all!!!