What can I say??? Where to start???? I am 24 and my husband of five years have been trying to conceive for the past four years. We have tried almost everything our budget can handle. Pills, needles, mediatation....you name it. I don't know what to do now. I am on my third or fourth IUI, I have lost count, and it doesn't seem like it is going to go well. I just found out that I have a small tumor in my left ovary and I am scared to death. Am I pushing something that will never happen??? Am I fighting for something that was never meant for me to have??? I don't know. I read all the stories in the magazines at the doctor's office.... by the way...why the HELL do they have those magazines in there??? Is it for humor?? Why would I want to look through Pregnacy&Newborn or ChildLife or whatever the names are in a fertility clinic?? My hopes are already on edge...I don't need to see what to wear when I become pregnant if I'm not pregnant yet!!! I mean...let's be real here. It truly pisses me off everytime. And another thing...if you have kids...don't bring them to the clinic!! It only makes things worse for the other women there! I see you there and wish..."why can't I have one???" Ugh!! What else...my bestfriend just had her baby yesterday. I know I should be happy for her, but deep down....I'm not. We were supposed to be pregnant together. You know...walking together...shopping...picking out baby clothes and stuff. And then...she gets pregnant and not me. I have been trying what seems like forever and she just snaps her fingers and becomes pregnant. I tried the best I could to be there for her. Her son is my godson for heaven's sake...but I could never get over the anger and jealousy. I still can't. What do you do?? Smiles can only hold back the tears for so long.Well...I guess that's about it for now.....is there any help out there???????