I'm tired. Tired of hurting people with my words. Tired of pushing them away with them. I'm tired of my heart caring about so many people, only to be hurt by them. I'm tired of everyone moving on and me being stuck in a hole. I'm tired of every time I think I've moved on on something, it hits me harder when I least expect it. I tired of people not getting along because they disagree what going to happen after they live instead of just accepting each others differences while we are here. I'm of my heart pounding like this. I swear I don't know how much more tired I can be. To sleep away all this tiredness, I may need to sleep forever. Just venting my frustration, but this pretty close to a suicide note huh?
Replies
nope...its a pity party....and you are showing up alone....dressed to the nines....
\"YOU CAN BE PITYFUL....OR POWERFUL...YOU CANT BE BOTH\".....tough luv.....
Change your words....change your life...
Not a pity party, venting.. read please, dork.
sounds like your just talking about life. we just have to deal.
Aw Chugger, That did sound like a venting note. You need a hug and I wish I could give you one in real life...Keep your head up brother, we are thinking about you and praying you get out of this dark place. We DO care about YOU...Love ya - XOXO - MaJoaquina.
I know this place well, I have been there in the past many times. I learned that I have tremendous power over my thoughts and my thoughts have tremendous power over my actions. I took control a long time ago and can live in a better place because of it. I happens gradually and not without challenge. But it helps us live a life of quality and moves us forward to a brighter place. Vent away but be careful that your venting doesnt make your mood worse. When you think and feel these things counter them with the assurances that they are not true unless you allow them to be. I dont say this easily, I had to live it to prove it. I was not always this way nor did I always feel this way but transformation is a blessing when you strive for it. I hold you in my heart Chug and pray that the sunshine breaks through the darkness and allows you to see the wonderful person that you truly are. Hugs
I\'m not going to give you any advice. It never helps me. I just know that I have started many journal entries this way--I am so tired. I was there just yesterday. Took more meds to sedate myself and fuck the world. In other news...you said you were coming to Portland soon, that still in the works? Send me a note.
Sorry your in a dark place right now...it\'s all to easy for others to judge us and make assumptions...All we can do is be true to ourselves...if you ever need to chat,please feel free to contact..dont be alone with ya thoughts...tgc
Sorry your feeling so tired of things. It is so hard to stay positive with bp. I have read your responses on some of the boards and one thing I can tell you is you seem to have the strength to make it through any circumstances that come your way. Keep on trusting in yourself and keep on pushing until you get through this door ok. You can do it Chugg! You need to do it! For yourself because you deserve more then feeling this way. Lots of Love and Prayers Ramona oxoxoxox
i too feel the way you do , every waking day, every sunrise and sunset.
life is like a lion, trying to tear me about and damn me to hell. life and all its people in it.
your not alone, cheire.