Well, Today is wednesday and I am already dreading Saturday. Even when you think you have a handle on things, you let the anticipation of that day to  get you all worked up. I'm having anxiety about it and I dont understand it. I know the day is going to be fine. I already made it through the hard one so I wish that I would just calm down. Its funny but last year I wanted to be alone for the first and nobody would let me. This year I want to be with people and I dont think they even remember. I'm sure his sisters do but they dont call much anymore. Anyway I have to work on Saturday. I just hope ah never mind I know its going to be fine. I dont know why I'm doing this to myself.