I was just sitting here thinking, How come I feel so good lately. It just came on like a ton of bricks, just like my grief did. Is it a miracale? No, I think it all has to do with positive thinking. If I think that I'm a survrivor then I am. I survived my childhood,with a monster of a father that couldnt keep his filthy hands off his daughters, I survived a marriage to someone who was very much like my father. Then I survived a divorce from that bum and survived being a single mom for 7yrs. before Bruce came along.  I survived seeing my mom die of lung cancer( I even quit smoking while she was sick).Boy I miss her. And now I'm surviving this too. My family always said I was a tough cookie and would make it  through everything that got thrown at me. Well I guess they were right. But God, right now I need a break so let me just savor this for a moment please.