It feels like forever since I've been on here. I moved out of my neices and into my sisters. She has no internet service. My sister is closer to home 5min, my neice was a half hr. with gas prices it was a pain in the butt for work and trying to get painting done here. Bathroom is coming along but its alot slower than promised.3 weeks is turning to 5. It looks so different and I love it but I dont like my living arrangements. Cant wait for it to be done. Toilet and sink are in,now waiting on the shower. Enough of that anyway. Hopeing everyone on here is doing well. I am getting by. I've come to realize I will never be the same. Its not only Bruces love that I miss but just the fact of having someone here to help me out,talk with,watch tv with....everything. I work retail and my hrs are crazy. Seems like every time I get out of work its either midnight or raining. Which in turn means my grass is growing like weeds. I take pride in my yard and hate how its been looking lately. So now I go to Bruces garden and get pissed at him for not mowing. I mowed 3/4 of the yard yesterday. YEAH. My daughter says she cant mow because she doesnt know how. (she'll be 22 in 3weeks). I said its about time she learns. But right now she's playing house and staying at her boyfriends because we have no bathroom. She thinks beause she's staying at Michaels she doesnt have to pay room and board. I told her she pays until all her stuff goes with her. So she's copping an attiude. Well I must go now. I have to drive to my sisters so I can take a shower before work. UUGGHH
Replies
Lori,I am so sorry that you have all the added and unnecessary stressed caused by silly stuff. I mean It is not sillt to yo or for you, but your daughter is being silly and immature, and all the remodeling and waiting would be just plain crazy to any of us. You will get through this too though. Heaven knows it is a breeze compareded to loosing Bruce. Right. That is the exact way I feel, what you said about you will never be the same. When my youngest son died in April of 2003, I was in suh schock and so devestated. Then one day after just struggling to ge through an ordinary day, I just realized that I would never be the same, or have the same life, or ever be the carefree person that I never even realized that I was! Oh Lori, how much I took for granted for so many years. Then in Dec. almost 7 months now when my other son Steven died, I just fell apart even worse. It brought back Paul and that grief,it added them both together. I will never be the same either. I am a diffrent person now. Lori, we can become diffrent people and lead diffrent lives. It takes so long and is so hard, but eventually things little by little improve. My baby steps. Then I relapse back to the DARK PLACE some days, but we really will have a diffrent life. Never the same without Bruce for you or my sons for me, but we will make it. Prayers and love.You are strong and brave,I am proud of you, and I think you are doing OK! LOVE Peggy
I remember when we added on our family room, my refrigerator was downstairs, and I had to wash dishes in my downstairs bathroom sink for almost a year. I am sooo lucky I didn\'t kill someone. But the end result was beautiful and you will have a beautiful bathroom. Someone stopped by the other day and gave me a quote on putting in shades in that family room. I am trying to think about heat this winter. He just kept commenting on how beautiuful the room was and the windows. All I could do was to feel sad, sad because Jim designed the addition and now he will NEVER enjoy it with me anymore. So sad.... I just know though that even though like you said we ARE different we are going to be o.k. Love ya, Alice
Maybe the stress of the remodeling project is jangling your nerves. It\'s a good idea to set rules down for grown children, they learn respect & responsiblity as well. Don\'t fuss over the yard, fuss over you.....the void is part of your loss and I understand what it feels like to be \"alone.\" The companionship, regard and expectations of the new day with a loved one were good. Things will be good again honey, let time and healing to flow as it does.
Relax and think of the finished bathroom, which won\'t have to be mowed. Love & hugs,