Yesterday I was a mess. Broke down crying many times at work last night. I dont really think it was Bruces death,but well I guess it is Bruces death. Its that This is the first time I really felt like I was alone. Any time I had a health issue Bruce was there. When I had my gall bladder out 5yrs ago he took care of me.We missed family Christmas and he was ok with that he didnt want to leave me alone. About 9 years ago we lost a baby and he took care of me and was just as sad as I was. And then last year the drs. found a mass behind my chest cavity and Bruce was so strong. I didnt even know how worried he was.The drs. kept doing test and sending me to different drs. until they ordered a PET scan and found it wasnt cancerous. When the dr.said the test was negative Bruce jumped up and hugged him and started to cry. Bruce was not one to hug a guy for no reason. And that was the first time I realized how scared he was for me. I know on Monday the drs. may find my arteries are not clogged and I could be fine, but this has made me realize for the first time in 11mos and 1 day that for the rest of my life I am going to be facing these challenges alone. I dont have Bruce with me to make it al better