I read the posts from time to time but rarely do I respond. I just read one from a girl who's way "out there" and it's sad. We are so fucking self obsessed. I actually love getting out of it. That must be why I loved drugs so much. Who cares if I don't know what the fuck day it is? I love hearing voices. In fact I miss them when I don't hear them. How you may wonder did I get so comfortable with it? Well, I believe that for every bad message I get there are 100 good spirits trying to give out good messages and I can try to tune into it cause I'm not afraid. When I die and become a spirit, do I want everyone to be afraid of me? How totally frustrating it must be to love people and have none of the living accept any communication without it being fucking fucked up! Also I've noticed that a lot of the messages I get sound backwards or don't use the right word for what they want to say. Communication is hard cause we speak different languages. Fuck people in different countries can't even understand each other so how can I figure that the spirits in another world can directly communicate?  I made friends with them all. The last sentence I heard was, "You better not ___ ___ ___ in an ambulence or your family will die." Now some people might get totally freaked out. I think my friends were saying to keep getting better or the spiritual part of my relationship with my family would die. I had just started recovering from a reckless abandonment to mania.  So some of the people who might read this might say I need to be on medication. I don't give a fuck what you think. I'm curious and courageous, and connected with a positive life force. That's what saves my life. And I LOVE my body. I will not fuck with my health. I'm terrified of bad physical health. When I get sick or feel unhealthy, I get worried, depressed, anxiety, ... And if the access to medication should become harder guess what? I have lots of experience going without it. When I die I don't get to take my meds with me now do I?