Why won't it let me select a theme? May be that is saying something about my life? Oh yes I think so. The Universe and I are One. It occurred to me this morning as I shoved my meds into my mouth before I could begin thinking thinking thhinkntin thingkihjkg thingkh thingking thing...... that I might not live that much longer. It was a pleasant thought actually. Since I'm living for others right now and not for myself but I am living for me too actually too. I'm just a fucking train wreck right now that's all. It's all just fine really. And so goes the life of a bipolar person. One minute I want to live forever because this is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo beautiful and the next it is all so fucking bad that I think even God fucked up somewhere along the line but the beautiful part of that is that He knows it and wants to be loved anyway and you know I love Him Her It or What. God I love Life and I'm such a failure cause I have no idea how to live. But does anyone really? Come on now be honest. I don't want your fucking recipes, I just want your empathy and perhaps we can keep eachother going one motherfucker at a time. If you know what I mean. This IS a motherfucker. This morning since I am resigned to the 2nd day of prescribed meds that kick my ass I am tired already and the brain is going into the seroquel ooz but it's better than the raw coarse ahhhhhh that was happening and I admit it. I can try being med free again later when my brain has rested.