I started taking celexa Thursday night. I dont know if it's a side effect but I'm up really early these days. Yesterday at 7 am & this morning 6 am...That's a little frustrating! I'm nervous this morning though. I'll be going to pick up olivia at his place for church this morning then we are going for lunch together....I feel sick to my stomach. it's like being on a diet 7 having a huge piece of chocolate cake in front of you.... It is now 7:15 am & I have been reading my book on Self Confidence...I thought it might help before facing the day. I have had another lightbulb moment! This paragraph has hit home for me... "There is a world of difference between feeling guilty & learning from the past. Going through a self-inflicted guilt sentence is a neurotic trip you must stop if you want to develop total self confidence. Feeling guilty does not build self confidence. It will only keep you a prisoner of the past & immobilize you in the present. By harboring guilt, you are escaping the responsibility of living in the present & moving toward the future."  Wow! I know that all I have done in my marriage, I have done because it was what I knew in my level of awareness at the time...but recently, I have been on a huge guilt & remorse trip because I know I had the power to change things years ago. By reading this this morning, I know that I cannot keep blaming myself. It is keeping me down. Yes, I have done some very unwise things but I have learned from them so they should not be perceived as "bad".