Feeling numb still...it's kind of wierd but then I'll get a wave of sadness wash over me & I just push it away...I wrote a post yesterday about how I feel overwhelmed lately. Today I went to a "coping class" that deals with depression & anxiety. I think that's what I'm dealing with is anxiety. I am trying to let go of him & move on but in my mid is a constant conversation of "what if's & I should have's" I am driving myself insane with it all! I know the core of my problems is self-esteem....Where do I start to build that up. I know all the theory...Ha! I teach it to a group of mentally challenged people but I cant practice what I preach. I feel like such a fraud at work....I want out of this field of work...I am feeling so burnt out!! I feel it isn't fair to my clients that my heart & my mind are not with them....I can barely cope with my own problems. I shouldn't be in charge of dealing with other people's problems. Why is it that I could deal with everything so much better when we were together? I dont understand...he really didn't help very much but it seemed that just knowing he was there for support made a difference....I dont feel that I am dealing or coping very well at all lately....I feel like crawling in a hole in the ground & hibernating until the pain, discouragement & uncertainty all stop. Unrealistic, I know but sure sounds good right now...
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the coping class sounds awesome....the what-if\'s just make us anxious and the i should have\'s just make us depressed...today is today, this moment is this moment...live life...just for today....you know, you are dealing with your problems...you are pursuing health...you are facing this big life change and you are doing your best....that\'s all you can do....take it one day at a time...i\'m so sorry for your pain and discouragment....hang in there friend....hugs and love to you!
Can I crawl into the hole with you??? Look at my journal if you get time on the physical stuff. Youre doing so well and what a brilliant class to attend. I just admire you for being so grown up about it all, youve sorted out so much with him,I cant even face being in the same room with my ex and obviously it will take time to get past the emotions and self worth. It looks like youre doing all the right things, it WILL get better x