I Read him the letter last night....it went well. He listened to me & added some comments about it not being all my fault. I sobbed through the whole thing. I am so saddened to realize that I could've changed everything all along. I know he has his faults but if I had done things differently, I could've changed the course of our relationship....Hind sight hurts so much. I know that I need to let go of all the "what if's" & "if I had'ves" & then forgive myself.....I need to move forward & change my attitudes. I can feel that already. I know that is a positive in me already. I will always have hope that we can build a new relationship....My marriage as it was is dead & I think that is a positive thing as well....as much as I do miss the familiar, I know it was unhealthy for both of us. Is it wrong to hope that we can work up from being friends now to build a better foundation & a new marriage? Am I setting myself up for dissappointment? I dont know but I cant let go of that hope.... He told me after we had talked that all he can offer is friendship. That's all I can ask for but it is so hard to be with him & not be WITH him....we will be going for lunch every second Sunday after I take our daughter to church...I'm terrified of those lunches because I know I will be longing for him & hurting the entire time but I also feel it is an opportunity for me to prove myself & my only hope at building anything new with him....I love him so much...:(