I am so stressed out tonight...& pissed & upset. Our 8 year old has a throat infection & has been throwing up tonight. She's not the easiest child to deal with when she's sick....so I dealt with that & I think managed to get her settled dow enough to go to sleep. Nope...I was wrong. Was just back in with her again....I am emotionally exhausted! I had thought she was feeling better this afternoon but night time always is worse. We were going to try for her to go to school but it's quite obvious that that's not going to happen. I stayed home on Wednesday, he came & stayed with her today. I am worried about missing time at work A. because I cant afford to lose pay since I am no longer "dual income" & B. because I'm worried I will be fired for missing so much time which will not be good due to A. So I try to call him tonight at 10:30 to see if he can make arrangements so I dont have to call in sick again....He doesn't answer his phone!! I'm so angry & resentful & of course I'm thinking he must be with HER if he isn't answering.... I leave a message. I try again about 20 minutes later. He finally answers after 4 rings...says he didn't have his phone close by....All I can think in my mind is that he's "doing" HER!!!!! I HATE feeling this way & thinking this way...Isn't it bad enough that he left but now I cant even get ahold of him if I need him for her!!!! I HATE HIM SO FRIGGING MUCH RIGHT NOW!!!!!! I HATE ME FOR THINKING & FEELING THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
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Oh Pam,Im so sorry for your hurt, and you know I understand cause you read my journal. Its soo hard to think of them with another woman, try and push the thoughts out when you get them and change them into something positive. Look at all the progress youve made, and youre always supportive of us on ds. Look how well you doing managing a sick child and work never mind all the emotional stuff. Leave him be if you can, youll feel better about yourself and Im sure the new woman is just a phase. Focus on you and your little one, rant at us on here, try and do something that will make you feel good. Im my prayers x