I seem to be having more "down" times than "up" times these days....I had a spell tonight where I just broke down. I was litterally sobbing...I feel so overwhelmed sometimes. I picked up a few groceries after work then headed home. I had to clean up the kitchen before I could start supper, so I started that while I put groceries away. My youngest arrived home while I was doing this. She needed a bath tonight & her hair washed, get supper ready, do homework & I had laundry to do tonight. I went to start her bath & all her stuff (coat, boots, bookbag,etc) were all still in the hallway where she drops them every night. I asked her to come & put them all away as I do EVERY SINGLE NIGHT! Then I started her bath. When I went in to wash her hair, she complained that she hadn't had much time to play. I explained that because she still had homework to do, we had to get things done. She then got her attitude which seems to be the norm these days. She informed me that I am always cranky these days.... I left her & returned to the kitchen to continue with supper & just felt so totally consumed with I dont even know what emotions...I began sobbing. My oldest came out & asked what was wrong. I couldn't stop crying to even talk...A few minutes later I told her that I just feel so overwhelmed with everything... I cant understand why things are so different from when I was with him. He never helped in the evenings anyway but for some reason, I just feel like I have so much responsibility on me & not enough time to relax with my kids & enjoy anything. I feel frustrated that I'm trying my damndest to put on my "happy, everything's OK" face & get everything done but yet my kids think I'm cranky all the time. I'm so frigging tired of having to ask them to do things they know need to be done but they still wait until I tell them! I'm just feeling so "fuck it!" right now..... sorry about the language but the only word that describes how I'm feeling tonight!