Been feeling so-so since last Sunday. I dont know why but I seem to be having a relpse of missing him. I try very hard not to think of him or memories but it sneaks up on me. I hate that. Why can we not just accept things, take a lesson learned, smile & carry on?  I dread the weekends. I am continuously trying to find someone to go out & do things with. I have plans for this weekend but they're hanging right now so I feel myself going into panic mode...I know if I'm home alone I'll go insane or I'll contact him & I've been doing so well at not doing that. I've talked to him once all week & that was regarding our daughter. Short & to the point. It breaks my heart...how did we get here....I still blame him for allowing things to deteriorate to this. I know I am equally to blame for the circumstances that led to it but if he had've said something...I need to get past the "if" stage. but how? That's one thing I'm so struggling with.