I'd like to thank all of my friends first of all for thier support & hugs on here. I know I'm not being a very good friend in return but I'm not in a good place in me right now.....I seriously feel like I'm having a mental breakdown right now... I've never felt despair like this & have the utmost compassion & respect for everyone who is or has gone through this....
After being told about him dating last night I pretty much went ballistic. I even punched a wall which I've never done before. I feel so hurt & betrayed....then of course, I send off the barrage of texts...one after another. I was so angry & hurt!! then he texts me this morning & tells me that because of my "frenzy", I will never know the truth. I texted later in the day & said that saying that implies he lied. He replied that he didnt lie but that he had "embellished" the truth to see what my reaction would be. He then said that I hadnt disappointed him & that he knew I couldnt change & that my anger had proven that & that he now no longer wants to be with me ever again.....
Of course, when I was angry...none of that mattered. Now the anger has dissapated & I feel like I screwed everything all up again because I cant control myself.
I can logically tell myself that what he is doing is emotional abuse but my feelings still tell me I blew it.... I wish I could go to sleep tonight & die....