Sunday night & it's a blizzard outside.  I'm feeling so miserable tonight. I broke off the "fling" I had been having with my husband Wednesday night. i knew he was upset when he left but as usual, he didn't talk about it. I have been trying to feel better & trying to be cheerful but I've been missing him so much that I actually feel physically ill sometimes. I had friends from out of town last night & we all went out to a dance bar & I had so much fun! I actually got really drunk which I hadn't been able to do for so long. It was a blast! Of course, not so much fun today....I have felt like crap all day. So around lunch time I checked my email....one from him. He admitted that I had hurt him on Wednesday & basically an undertone of "blame" through the whole thing. I was so upset after reading it. He doesn't understand why I did this at all...he doesn't get that it is killing me to have a "part-time" relationship with the man I'm married to. He doesn't get that I want him to have his time to figure himself out in hopes that we can rebuild our marriage someday.....He doesn't understand how much it hurts that he now has a whole seperate life that doesn't include me..... I'm so confused & I feel like just giving up on everything tonight..... :(