Really wanted to hold onto the anger but overwhelming sadness are creeping in once more. God, I hate this!! I went grocery shopping this morning & while I was in the store I started thinking about how I have no desire to eat let alone cook. My poor daughter has been living on pretty much crap since all this has happened but I just cant do it. I had such a huge feeling of "I cant believe this is all happening" again. When I got home my depression only got worse. Today is the world cup rugby final....England vs. South africa. He is South African & I have watched the last 2 world cups with him. I'm not a big sports fan, never was, but when he moved here with me to Canada, nobody watched it. So he taught me all the rules & it was the one sport I actually enjoyed watching. I had been so excited this year to watch & because he left, I haven't gotten to see any of the matches. I feel cheated & jealous that I missed out on that. That I missed out on spending that time with him. It was our thing...now it's not. Nothing is anymore just hurt & hate.