The second major blow in my life...
As I was typing a response to someone else's journal entry, it totally dawned on me why I am just soooo unhappy and feel so weak and vulnerable.
When my husband and I were trying to have children we went through eight long years of hell trying to conceive, foster and then ultimately adopt. I went through so much anguish, depression and sheer unhappiness trying to have what most people take for granted. I couldn't go to babyshowers, etc.
NOW, with this.... three years after we adopted, I'm now going through those same feelings of hopelessness and emotions that I thought I would never have to go through again.
This divorce has brought things back that I thought I had been rid of. It just doesn't seem fair. How can it be so easy for him to go through everything we did together only to give up in the end because he doesn't want to face his demons and take care of what he needs to. Yes, marriage, a home and a child are responsibility!!!!
You can't run away from the decisions you make... or you shouldn't in my book!!!
Phew, I'm glad I got that off my chest!
As I was typing a response to someone else's journal entry, it totally dawned on me why I am just soooo unhappy and feel so weak and vulnerable.
When my husband and I were trying to have children we went through eight long years of hell trying to conceive, foster and then ultimately adopt. I went through so much anguish, depression and sheer unhappiness trying to have what most people take for granted. I couldn't go to babyshowers, etc.
NOW, with this.... three years after we adopted, I'm now going through those same feelings of hopelessness and emotions that I thought I would never have to go through again.
This divorce has brought things back that I thought I had been rid of. It just doesn't seem fair. How can it be so easy for him to go through everything we did together only to give up in the end because he doesn't want to face his demons and take care of what he needs to. Yes, marriage, a home and a child are responsibility!!!!
You can't run away from the decisions you make... or you shouldn't in my book!!!
Phew, I'm glad I got that off my chest!
Replies
You know, there are so many issues to deal with when you\'re going through a breakup, you just get through one day at a time, I\'ve wondered if one day older deeper issues are just going to hit me like a ton of bricks. Sounds like that\'s what happened with you. Now you\'ve figured out the source and gotten it off your chest, I hope you feel better tomorrow!
You are very insightful. There\'s not much that I take for granted anymore. The most important things in my life have been taken away. Now I\'m just green with envy when I see when I see such happy families. The fact that weekends like this are so lonely for me, doesn\'t help much either. You know someone ounce told me \"It\'s not always going to feel like this.\" I just wish they would have told me when the hell is going to stop feeling like this!
GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND STAY STRONG MISSTIK.
Thanks you two! It\'s nice to know there are people here that genuinely care and that completely understand. It makes a world of difference.
You are both in my heart and I hope the best for you as well!