31.JULY.2013_STICU
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!
A year go today, (WED.31.JULY.2013) I was in the STICU with my Mom...watching & waiting for them to stabilize her enough to do surgery...it was a difficult time...because of age (she was 94)... because of her combativeness (she had NEVER been this way)...because of her delirium ... because all the 'people out to get her'.
Today, a year later I am at the NH...watching & waiting... It's more difficult this time...because it's not my mom...because I don't know what to do...because she is so strong and full of fight... and I am not.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you wait for death? ...how do you wait for Death to come and take the one person who you know loves you far more than she loves herself?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you prepare for death...We don't fear death itself...but yet I am anxious...I've been having multiple panic attacks a day since last Friday...I feel so lost ...like I am spinning out of control...and I am...because I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
A year go today, (WED.31.JULY.2013) I was in the STICU with my Mom...watching & waiting for them to stabilize her enough to do surgery...it was a difficult time...because of age (she was 94)... because of her combativeness (she had NEVER been this way)...because of her delirium ... because all the 'people out to get her'.
Today, a year later I am at the NH...watching & waiting... It's more difficult this time...because it's not my mom...because I don't know what to do...because she is so strong and full of fight... and I am not.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you wait for death? ...how do you wait for Death to come and take the one person who you know loves you far more than she loves herself?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you prepare for death...We don't fear death itself...but yet I am anxious...I've been having multiple panic attacks a day since last Friday...I feel so lost ...like I am spinning out of control...and I am...because I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
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