I am slowly dawning on me that  Tourettes sundrome is only a starting point to a lot more. I have been learning that they know so much more about it and the shit that accompanies it and it's scaring me to death. I don't feel like there is a point to dealing with it any more. Mostly because I CAN"T deal with it anymore. I have really become aware of all the subtle and sneaky ways it had ruined me and my future. The tics are nothing compared to that. I am newly 40 (March) and I don't know if it's a mid-life crisis or a trerrible, terrible realization of what is to come. I am not the same person. I used to be able to deal with this so much better. I was happy and strong and positive and even when it did get me down, I'd come back up eventually. But this has lasted for years now and I'm at the end of my rope. I have no enjoyment in my life..I don't want to do anything. Everything seems hollow and empty. My body has really felt the 30-odd years of ticcing. I have problems with my sciatic nerve, my arms go numb, my toes, I get migraines all the time..all from ticcing..mostly in my neck and hips. I am so sick of being in pain...and uncomfortable all the time. I can no longer do the things I want to do physically. Even walking hurts. I constantly second guess my social skills... my decisions..I am sure that I am a not who I was even a few short years ago.This is not how it was supposed to be. No one told me this could happen. I figurd once I learned to deal with the assholes and the ignorant, all would be okay. I hate who I am now. And I never NEVER did before. I liked who I was.. I was proud of all I'd done and gotten through. I What do I do now?