Quite often I used the computer as a way to try and forget about my disability, family conflicts, abuse, etc and "pretend" I'm an okay guy.  There's a whole new world out there, full of people that can accept us for who we are, while we leave the pains of the past... in the past.  As for meeting people in person... Everything's fine until that one slip, and suddenly that sense of pride is diminished by shame, as if I should have known better.  Then people find out I have a disability and don't really want our friendship to go any further.  I keep trying to move ahead, taking courses and getting good marks, but it doesn't change the government classing me as unemployable for public safety.  Just like I could buy a car, but that doesn't mean I can drive like "normal" people.  That's what I need to work on.... It's nice to dream, but eventually we all have to come back to reality.Is that being negative or realistic?Matthew