Thought I would post my poem again on my journal.  I think this poem truly says it all about the shame I have been carrying for such a long time.  It is the one poem I have written that really tells exactly what I as a survivor has gone thru being sexually, physically and mentally abused. Day by day this shame is being released in therapy and just sharing who I am with the people who care for me.  My therapist asked that I write what shame feels like and I wrote the poem as a tho shame was talking to me and telling me the damage it did to my psyche. My Name Is Shame My name is Shame I live inside of you Whatever you say Whatever you do Is just not good enough   My name is Shame I live in your mind I am not sweet Nor am I very kind   I caused you to feel That you have no self worth I didn’t arrive The day of your birth   I came much later I think you were two I saw it in your eyes You were sad you were blue   It was then that I knew I would take over your soul And all that I’d leave Was a deep dark black hole   My name is Shame I live inside of you Whatever you say Whatever you do   Is just not good enough   I murdered your spirit When he touched you that day There was nothing you could do There was nothing you could say   You were only 4 A sad little girl Lonely and forgotten Alone in the world   I entered your life No safe place could you find I invaded your body I invaded your mind   I caused you to feel So empty inside A pain that’s so deep You wished you had died   My name is Shame I am felt at the core I set you up to think you’re a whore   The day that he touched you Was the day that I saw I could do damage and So very much more.   You have no place to run I am everything you feel You were sexually abused It’s really no big deal   Your rage, your anger Stuff them as well You’re a bad little child And I am your hell   I love to make you cry and feel so very sad I love to make you angry I love to make you mad   And then I tell you, your feelings They are wrong That you basically are nothing That you don’t belong   I am ugly and devious A thorn in your side and All you can do is Run away and hide   I’m your worst nightmare I am there when you sleep I am there when you cry I am your tears when you weep   But you need me now, until you can see That my purpose is useless Only then I’ll be free Never to return and enter your soul Uncovering the lies The Truth will unfold   My name is Shame I live in your mind I am not sweet Nor am I very kind Jeanette 2006