I have not updated since my last entry. I'm having surgery May 6th. They are hoping to be able to do it lapriscopically (spelled wrong?) but might not be able to. They would then do it abdominally or a hybred of the two. I'm so scared of the pain and recovery afterwards. 
I have a cat scan tomorrow and blood work. I still haven't had my period since my D&C four weeks ago but I know that normal....I've had a lot of spotting though and a few clots. Today after work I had the worst abdominal cramps, lower back pain and thigh pain that I've ever had and I thought I would start hemoraghing again but so far just pretty normal period bleeding...not that I remember what that is exactly. I'm worried I'll start bleeding bad again and won't be able to drive the hour - hour and a half to my appointment tomorrow.  
Today thought I'm worried about more then just the surgery for a change...I've been obsessing about that but now it's turned to the cancer. I don't like the inner thigh pain I'm having....I've had it before during my period too...I'm worried the cancer is in my lymphnodes now...I'm scared. I feel like this is never going to end. That it's just going to be one thing after another for years. I am not strong enough for that. I don't want to live like that.....