faith

Ive been working on having God in my life. I dont go to church but im still trying to believe more. By this i mean im leaving it in his hands. I feel like im too forgiving but im sure this is what God wants me to do forgive & move on It is still hard to trust somethings, thinking it will happen again & we will be in same place again Please give me a sign that this is the right thing to do. help Jim see this also & Laura & mike too. 
so why do I find it so hard to forgive my brother. part of me does cant tell him that after all the pain he put me through. I guess I will write a letter & hope it doesnt start up something again. For them to be christian they sure seem to be unforgiving. help them also see all the hurt this has caused.