Every day I run a little further and everyday I pray as I run. I pray for weakness, pain and death for only in these things can God work through me. For if I am strong then others will believe my strength is my own no matter what I believe or say and my own vanity will destroy me. If I am with out pain then how could I know or understand the suffering of others. If I fear death then I will not be willing to give my life for what I believe in and will not have the courage to stand up for the oppressed. For in my weakness God speaks to me and gives me wisdom and strength.In my pain He reveals to me how to comfort others and He gives me Grace.In death I will fear nothing for He will be with me and lead me to ever lasting life. So why do I run?I run because my body is a temple of the Lord and a gift that I will only have a short time. I must keep it strong in order to better serve God.I run because I am God's servant and idle hands and mind are open to temptation. I must remove all things that offend God in order to receive His grace.I run so that the Holy Spirit will fill me and compel me to speak the word of God. For God is perfect and I am not a mistake.There for I have a purpose.My purpose is to serve God in everything that I do.If it does not serve God then I need not do it. I am sorry if I worried anyone with my professions of faith. I understand, appreciate and give thanks everyday for all that God has given me. Most of all I give thanks for the love God has shown and given me in my life.In this world and life to everything there is many levels and degrees. This is also true in the Kingdom of God. This is demonstrated many times in the bible. God does not want you to actually do anything to harm yourself or others. But in order to move from one level of spirituality to another you must loose all fear of anything in this world except for the fear of God. That is why God sent His only Son to show us the way to his love so that we could come to Him as His children. God loves us above all His creations and only through Christ is found salvation. I think you miss read my meaning. I wrote "I am not a mistake" This is a statement meant only for nonbelievers or atheists. God is perfect and through His Son Jesus Christ we have been given an invitation. Christ said that I am the truth, the way and the life and to follow me. Yes we are not perfect but Christ told us to be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:48). None of us may ever achieve this but we should at least aspire to it. The last person in the bible to achieve the highest level of spirituality never actually knew Christ. This was Paul and his soul mission in life was to kill all Christians, (Acts 26:9-18). Paul was not afraid of anything and would have given his life at any time for his believes. God could see the purity of his heart and used this man to do His will. Paul writes of the upside down life and world in Christ in (Corinthians 12:7-10) "In weakness is found strength." No one really understands this until you experience it at one level or another. This is the paradox of the Christian life that can be taken to many different extremes by many different religions. To focus only on just one aspect of spirituality and the life of Christ is to loose all other gifts, blessings and grace that God has for you. In this you are correct but have no fear for this is just a moment in spiritual growth and rebirth that I am living and writing about. I have a tendency to preach and I need only show love and peace. Sometimes I need to tone it down a bit.
Replies
No need to be so hard on yourself my dear Matt.
You are one of God\'s child, and he sees from above how much you appreciate and care for the temple he has loan
you while on this earth.
You are the perfect servant right now, with all that you
do, and the words that you spread.
Give yourself a little lose to enjoy your family, and your talent that God has gave you, use it to please all.
You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit, so please have Faith and enjoy your life, and keep doing what you do best, love the Lord with every fiber of your being, but do enjoy the simplicities of life.
Love & respect,
Mckenzie
Matt, I think you are trying to hard my friend. God does not expect us to be perfect. If you pray for sickness and to be weak then why do you really run? Is this not going againest what you are praing for?You pray for these things yet you do what helps to bring us health.If you are sick and weak how will you be able to share the word with others how can you use your temple to be an example to others.Seems to me that if you are praying for death you are kinda telling God\'I do not want to wait on you just take me so I do not have to enjoy the earthly things you have given me here or do what it is you want me to do\'My friend God made you in his own image to say you are a mistake is to say God made a mistake.You and I both know better then that!God had a reason for putting you in the very spot you are he had a reason for getting you through this hep-c crap! I think you should lighten up on your self sweetie slow down take time to enjoy each day you are given.The way I see it is,each day we are given is a gift we should make sure we enjoy this gift do with it what ever it is God wants us to do and be thankfull for the gift. All things that are good come from above God wants you to have this gift not ask him to make you sick and weak or this is what he would give you.Nor does he want you to ask him to take this gift he has given you back.You are a talanted wise uplifting youg man use this to please God.Stop praying for the things you are and ask God to give you the strength to hear and understand him and then do it what it is he ask of you. Also you are a gift from God! Be the kind of gift that makes the ones aroud you happy. be pleasing to gods eye.Stand tall and strong be proud that you can be proud that God has given you the abilty to do this God says in all things give praise. So when you stand strong and healthy say I can do this because God is doing it for me. Be a light that shines for him. I am really worried about you I am praying for you. I hope I have not crossed the line but I prayed about how to respond before I did. One more thing what about your children? They are a gift to you from God They are not your own he has only loned them to you for awhile you can not be sick or weak or dead to mold them the way God wants you too. Lots of hugs and prayes to you my friend In His Name.Tammy
Brother Matt! God will take care of you. You are such an inspiration to us all that we are blessed that you are here for us. Brother I am here if you need to talk. Here or on phone. My # is 731-608-5461