Well I thought things were going to be awful when I got home because I cried and whined all the way home. Instead of picking up the booze, I grabbed a big old rake, shovel and a wheel barrow and scraped up leaves, pinecones and pineneedles.. OUCH. I thought for sure my back would be killing me today but not bad.. The ole man came home from a place here in Utah where him and one of his usetobe best friends are breaking up as business partners. They were in the live stock business. The partner decided it was time to end the partnership with Al even though he has many ranches, mink farms etc etc etc (not AL he doesnt have all that damn it but Scotty) He is richer then rich and stabs everybody in the back to get everything his way. He even fired his son in law after he had worked on the mink ranch for years because he is bi polar and now is getting his daughter to divorce the poor guy. Needless to say, Al and Scooty are no longer friends. He swindled him out of about $600,000 dollars on another deal. With friends like that who needs enemies. I could just see me and Al, little house in Hawaii for the winter months and then some where else for summer. Scott had taken all the cows ( most of them pregnant) to the auction and Al had to go down and remind them that half the proceeds were to be written out to him.. I mean there is no trusting Scott. But Al wasnt in a shitty mood so that helped..I forgave my son for being such an aragont bastard and today I have asked him to least look up what bypolar is and how people get there feelings hurt alot easier and he needed to go a little easier on me.. He just wouldnt even pay attention. He hates to think his mother is mentally ill. He could understand the drinking problem long before the sickness. Thinks its all in my head, oh yea, it is...... duh.... Anyway I would like to thank all of my friends and you know who you are.. Hoping we all find some peace someday. I would love to get this beast off my back.. Atleast I know that there are alot of people out there worse off then me. I know that because I have a rake, shovel and a wheelbarrow... a metal one.... Love you all
Replies
Good girl....its better to try and keep a bit occupied, especialy in the first while, until your body becomes a little more accustomed to not having a drink in your hand. Keep up the good work...you can do it!! xx
Great job! I do the same thing..go out in the yard when I\'m needing therapy...it usually works. I tire myself out and end up feeling better for it. Big hugs..hope you enjoy the rest of your day..xo
You go girl, I\'m there with you in spirit. Thanks for sharing. I hate what happened to your husband, but it sounds like you\'re coping the best you can.
Love and hugs..........
Good job I\'m proud of you. I know it\'s alot easier to take that drink than to choose to rake the leaves. Big Hugs.
I used alcohol to battle the bi-polar demons along with LOTS of other things over the years. Sometime hopefully soon, you will have the kind of revelation I had a few weeks ago. And it will probably be where you LEAST expect it. I pray that you experience the moment of clarity I was given. You will still need the meds, but the inner strength you may have buried needs to get to the surface. Look around. Anywhere you can while staying active. God will help the good ones out if its meant to be. Trust and faith have been the key for me. Stay strong!!
me and the
My son worksd for me he is bipolar manic depressant ,, and add and adhd that is why i quit my job and started a welding shop at home. i know all about bipolar. we just need to slow down and give them a break. he is doing well since he has been on meds the last 10 yrs. but still has his moments and probably always will. when he iss riled up i had to learn to walk away from the argument , and not add to it. he comes back down after a bit. but he is married and has 2 beautiful kids. his wife is very understanding of his imperfections too. but i know where you are coming from . hang in there we love you and hopefully someday the beast will be gone. Are you really 98 i don\'t think so.
have a great weekend.
Steve
Glad you\'re pulling yourself up and out of a funk, its a very hard but very worthwhile thing to do :)