Well today was the day I really came out of the closet.. No silly not that closet. But I am finally admitting to being an alcoholic and its the hardest thing, even harder then depression to deal with. Its as if my best friend or dog died.. I could always go home after a shitty day of work and have a couple drinks.. That was ok and I could still do that (MAYBE) but then that would just give me the chance to mess up again. I have disapointed my mother ( but who the hell cares about that) but most of all I have disapointed my 19 year old son and some times my ole man. He use to drink quite a bit and now it is just occasionally.My ex died two years ago from Alcoholism and I despised the way he would come home so drunk and you couldnt even make conversation with him. I havent gotten that way but I know I could.I work for my son and now he has just beat his dog for tearing something up and I am crying my eyes out and I just want to go home and have a drink. I wont, but I sure want too. Life sucks sometimes.. Better go..
Replies
I agree, when people first told me that I was an alkie and I needed to stop drinking completely I thought, no way, no more beer, EVER! You have got to be kidding!!! But thats what it has to be, because I can\'t just have a couple, I drink till I pass out. Hang in there. You are in my thoughts.
You are in my prayers. . .While not an alcoholic I am an addict and fight the fight every moment of every day. Just relapsed and know the feelings oh so well. Good luck.
(((HUGS)))
Raven
such strength you show...our lives have been very similar i think, while i don\'t think i am an alcoholic, i have such an addictive personality that i could be...so i don\'t drink. it\'s hard because when i did drink, it was my confidence, i was always ok with a drink in my hand. LOL! hugs to you!
Oh My God!!! I am SO proud of you for saying those words!! Well done.....I hope you can continue to feel good every day, its not an easy battle but it can be done! Thinking of you! xx
God Bless you...it takes a lot of courage to admit things that are true about oneself. Now you can finally become your authentic self which is someone who is totally loved, truely accepted and completely forgiven!
LL