My ex-husband died almost three years ago ( he is the father to my 18 year old). He never did get remarried and did not change his will so I inherited a small amount of money. You would think that not having to worry about money now would help with the depression but it doesnt. My man now wants to go on a trip to Hawaii and I just hope I can muster up the gumption to plan a trip.I dont speak to my mother to often because I get sick of her nagging me about my depression. Although she did call me two months ago as my sister who lives in Virginia needed to get away and move to Las Vegas to be with family. As she hasnt a job I sent her $2000 (asked to do so by my mother) so she could get here. Havent heard from my mom or sis since then. Now my mother calls me last night and put a guilt trip on me to send the sis more money as she needs to get back to Va for some reason.I dont think it is my responsibility and I need to think about my own welfare and retirement because I have had a two level fusion in my back and suffer from chronic pain in my back from degenerative back problems and arthritus. I dont know how long I will be able to keep working full time and need to think about my future.. It just bugs me that everyone thinks I am made of money now and try to make me feel guilty if I dont help everyone.My mother has always turned to me for help with my brothers and sister when they have needed a place to stay and she also moved into my house for one year with her new husband without paying me hardly anything. I am sick of trying to always help everyone even though I guess I should.None of my family know how to deal with mood disorders and its very hard for them to know who I am. What do I do without feeling guilty? Help....
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Wow. Self focused family members they are!
I would slap them silly for you if I could.
Who\'s money is it? Did they work to earn it? You say you got it from your ex after he passed away but in a way you worked for that money.
How to deal w/guilt? Would you believe meds have helped me w/that issue?
There are a few things I do when I find myself feeling guilty. First, I exaggerate in my mind. I imagine myself being the very put upon, only means of support for the world. I imagine myself as Jesus...suffering for the world. Then I poke a little fun at myself. The point of all that is to minimalize and put in place \"the small stuff\".
The other thing I do is tell myself \"STOP\". Each time I hear my mother\'s voice, I say \"STOP\". Each time I feel a guilt coming on, I say \"STOP\". I imagine cutting the tape before it plays its whining in my ear.
If you could do what you wanted right now, what would it be? Do you have hobbies? Passions? Do you swim or exercise?
Your family can\'t control you unless you let them. \"STOP\" letting them!
You deserve better.
Hugs,
Sharon
You have no reason to feel guilty about anything so do not let anyone, even your mom, make you feel guilt. You did as she asked, and did not get a thank you from her or from your sister. The well is cut off. You need to take care of yourself as you said and provide for your future. As you age, are they going to take care of you? I wish you peace
When I read your post all I seen was your family and boyfriend spending YOUR $. I think you need to spend that $$ on YOU!!
Sounds like your family is using you and really taking advantage of the fact you feel \"guilty\". WHICH YOU ARE NOT. They are all adults and need to learn to take care of themselves. It is not your responsibility to take care of them, you need to focus on taking care of yourself and securing your future. Because I am almost certain they won\'t be there in the future offering you help. Get rid of the guilt and put your mind at peace...I know easier said than done. Good luck and take care, Debbie
I hate family guilt trips..they are the worst imaginable. Sounds like you\'ll have to stand up to your mom one day...easier said than done but I had to do it myself. Took a while but now my Mom and I are friends. Good luck and take care..xo