30 weeks

Tomorrow I'll be 30 weeks, only 10 weeks left or 71 days. Can you believe it? I cant! Im 75% of the way there. Its all starting to become so real to me. Pretty soon I'm going to have my little man in my arms. I never imagined after all the loss and heartache I've been through that I would finally get a baby. I guess after all the pregnancies and losses having a miscarriage seemed like the normal to me. I just never really thought I would make it this far. I liked to think that I would eventually get my baby, but I guess it never really seemed like I would. I dont know if that makes any sense to anyone but me. Anyways......Im getting so excited, scared, nervous, anxious, every emotion you can think of Im probably experiencing. It changes frequently through out the day. LoL. My baby shower is coming up at the end of the month and thats where Im get so anxious and excited. Then today I saw this tiny newborn baby and I just cant imagine my baby ever being that little, and what I'll do with it. If I'll even know what to do when I bring him home. Thats when I get nervous and scared. I guess these are all normal emotions of a pregnant woman LoL.  My next doctors appointment is Monday the 12th. I hate routine checkups. I drive between 45-60 mins one way just for them to listen to the heartbeat and measure my stomache. Seems kind of like a waste to me since I can check the heartbeat at home myself. Im kind of happy for this appointment though because I dont feel like I've grown any for awhile. Everyone else seems to think I have and they say if not it will be fine I'll catch up these last few months, buts its got me a little worried. I guess I shouldnt be I feel him move all the time but he still has alot of growing to do. Another thing I've been worried about is I usually get up between 4-7 times a night to pee and the last 2 nights I've only got up 1 time each. My husband says nothing pleases me I complain about peeing too much then I complain about not peeing enough. Probably nothing to worry about but Im a worry-wart. I think I've just been soooo exhusted from not sleeping at night time, when I finally fall asleep I have to pee. So the last 2 nights have been wonderful for catching up on my sleep. I really wish they would give me another ultrasound. My last one was at 19 weeks....thats been 11 weeks ago. I would love to see the changes in him and how big Braydens gotten. I guess I shouldnt be complaining and start counting my blessings that theres been no reason for another ultrasound.  I think I've told you guys before about the other 2 girls that are pregnant at my work. Well there's this thing where for the last 13 years anyone whos gotten pregnant while working at this branch have all had boys. Some of them have girls but they didnt get pregnant while working at this branch it was either before or after. Well I'm having a boy and I'm soooo anxious to see if the other 2 are going to have boys also. The one is going for her 2nd ultrasound today. Shes had one already but the baby didnt want to show. The other (my best-friend) has her ultrasound in Feb....so we have to wait a little while for that one. I think it will be really creepy if we all have boys. Well I better stop rambling and let you guys go. Hugs Monica.