30 JULY 2013 - THE DAY I LOST MY MOM
“Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me.” –David
It was a year ago today (Tues.30 July.13) that I saw and spoke to my Mother at her home for the last time…I remember it like it was yesterday…we ate breakfast together: a bacon, egg & cheese taquito, coffee for her, a Dr.Pepper for me…as I left, I remember telling her to lock the screen door while she waited for her provider…and reminding her to double lock the front door as soon as her provider left (she had been forgetting to do this)…I remember her saying that she wanted to sit on the porch soon…I’ve relived that day at least once a day for the last 365 days…and today, I will re-live it again…even though she doesn’t remember it, I do…I love and miss you Momma.
“My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” –Jesus
“Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani” -Jesus
It was on that same day, a year ago, at approximately 4 or 5 pm that she fell in the living room after double dead bolt locking the front door; injuring her face, arm, knees, and worst of all, her hip. She was ALONE…unable to call for help…unable to get up…probably slipping into and out of consciousness (although she has never fainted in her life)…probably crying out in pain…ALL ALONE for nearly eighteen to twenty hours.
Her newly assigned Provider arrived at about 9:15 AM on Wed.31 July 2013 and realized what had happened…she called her office…she called me…her office called me…they couldn’t get in…I was in a prescription drug induced sleep…the neighbors came…they could hear her calling for help…crying in pain…and in frustration because she couldn’t help herself….they tried to break in…they couldn’t…finally the fire dept arrived and the police dept…it took a good two and a half to three hours to get into the house where they found her lying on the floor across the door…they stabilized her and rushed her off to the ER! …I woke up at about noon that day…At 12:15 pm on 31 July 2013, her neighbor called me from the home phone and informed me that the the ambulance had just left with her headed to the ER. And with that one phone call, began the year long journey through the valley of the shadow death.
Despite being awake and alert in the ER...it was there, that I first noticed something wasn't right...Everytime I asked her what happened, she would say "I'll tell you later" or "I don't want to talk about it right now" or "It was horrible" or "Can you believe the neighbor lady did this to me?"
It wasn't until after nine in the evening that the orthopedic doctors came to talk to us...she had fractured her left femur and would require surgery...Her response: "I knew this was a bad fall"...then she asked about blood transfusions, she remembered her last surgery during which she had lost a lot of blood and required at least 3 units...and when she was satisfied with their answers, she gave her consent for the surgery...I signed the consent form for her. It was the last time she would make a decision for herself...I have had to make every single decision for her since then. The doctors left, then came back with metal pins and a yellow Black & Decker drill and asked me to step out, which I did. The next time I saw my Mom, she was gone. There were pins in her legs...they were prepping her for her umpteenth major surgery...there were decisions to be made...and all she could talk about was how thirsty she was (she hadn't had anything to eat or drink since about 2pm on the day before)...how the people in the TV were out to get her...and other very strange ramblings.
It was a year ago today (Tues.30 July.13) that I saw and spoke to my Mother at her home for the last time…I remember it like it was yesterday…we ate breakfast together: a bacon, egg & cheese taquito, coffee for her, a Dr.Pepper for me…as I left, I remember telling her to lock the screen door while she waited for her provider…and reminding her to double lock the front door as soon as her provider left (she had been forgetting to do this)…I remember her saying that she wanted to sit on the porch soon…I’ve relived that day at least once a day for the last 365 days…and today, I will re-live it again…even though she doesn’t remember it, I do…I love and miss you Momma.
“My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” –Jesus
“Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani” -Jesus
It was on that same day, a year ago, at approximately 4 or 5 pm that she fell in the living room after double dead bolt locking the front door; injuring her face, arm, knees, and worst of all, her hip. She was ALONE…unable to call for help…unable to get up…probably slipping into and out of consciousness (although she has never fainted in her life)…probably crying out in pain…ALL ALONE for nearly eighteen to twenty hours.
Her newly assigned Provider arrived at about 9:15 AM on Wed.31 July 2013 and realized what had happened…she called her office…she called me…her office called me…they couldn’t get in…I was in a prescription drug induced sleep…the neighbors came…they could hear her calling for help…crying in pain…and in frustration because she couldn’t help herself….they tried to break in…they couldn’t…finally the fire dept arrived and the police dept…it took a good two and a half to three hours to get into the house where they found her lying on the floor across the door…they stabilized her and rushed her off to the ER! …I woke up at about noon that day…At 12:15 pm on 31 July 2013, her neighbor called me from the home phone and informed me that the the ambulance had just left with her headed to the ER. And with that one phone call, began the year long journey through the valley of the shadow death.
Despite being awake and alert in the ER...it was there, that I first noticed something wasn't right...Everytime I asked her what happened, she would say "I'll tell you later" or "I don't want to talk about it right now" or "It was horrible" or "Can you believe the neighbor lady did this to me?"
It wasn't until after nine in the evening that the orthopedic doctors came to talk to us...she had fractured her left femur and would require surgery...Her response: "I knew this was a bad fall"...then she asked about blood transfusions, she remembered her last surgery during which she had lost a lot of blood and required at least 3 units...and when she was satisfied with their answers, she gave her consent for the surgery...I signed the consent form for her. It was the last time she would make a decision for herself...I have had to make every single decision for her since then. The doctors left, then came back with metal pins and a yellow Black & Decker drill and asked me to step out, which I did. The next time I saw my Mom, she was gone. There were pins in her legs...they were prepping her for her umpteenth major surgery...there were decisions to be made...and all she could talk about was how thirsty she was (she hadn't had anything to eat or drink since about 2pm on the day before)...how the people in the TV were out to get her...and other very strange ramblings.
Replies
My parents both developed dementia for several years before they passed. My dad already wasn\'t \"all there\" by 82, while my mother waited until late 80\'s to show the signs. We do indeed LOSE the parents we knew, often long before we bury them. My sympathies and condolences to you.