3 steps forward 2 back

After meeting my DS friends over the weekend I was so proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone.  I know Randy would be so proud of me too.  It would bother him that I’m not doing what we always did, go places, do things, just live.  I can’t seem to do that without him.  But I did this past weekend and had a very nice time, I was so comfortable with the people I’ve been talking to and sharing my pain with these past months.  Then this week another wave hits.  I’ve been so weepy this week.  I don’t know if it’s the changing of the calendar again, or the changing of the seasons.  All I know is that more time is passing by and my Randy is not here to share it with me.  I’m missing him so much.  Life is going on but I’m not.  I really thought I was doing better.