3 months since we lost Sophia

December 17th!!  3months since everything happened. Just like last month i thought i was going to fall apart and be unbelievably depressed. But... I'm ok. I think. I still wish i could tell her that I'm not forgetting her. I might put on my happy face and laugh and try to function now, but i never take a breath without thinking of her. It doesn't feel like 3 months, it feels like a hundred lifetimes since i held her and it feels like 2 seconds. I just wanted to start my new life with her here... and give her everything that i never had. I never had a family or a home or a dad or anything normal. I thought if i could give her that that i could kind of remedy all the bad things in my own life but it seems like now i just passed on all my curses to her and she suffered because of me. I'm just sitting here like i was the day after i lost her feeling numb and not wanting to believe that she's really gone and, yes, i really had a daughter, and yes, i really had to bury her. I'm starting to wonder if i'm ever going to believe this. I don't want to! Sophia, I love you baby girl. I'm sending you kisses and hugs and know that you'll always have the best piece of my heart with you, I'm still waiting to see you again.