3 month mark
My 3 month mark hit yesterday. I say "mark" because "anniversary" is a word I associate with happiness and since these "marks" are not happy I refuse to say "anniversary". People keep saying "time" will make things better but how can it be better without my other half. There is such a hole in my life. I haven't even gone food shopping other than for the essentials. I can't get myself to think for one. Even food shopping was always with him in mind, what would he like to eat, oh this looks good for a romantic dinner for 2, or I'll treat us both with this. Now I'm lucky I even eat and what I eat I really don't care. I was conditioned for the last 32 years to think as a team. Now the team is no longer and I'm to old to rethink things. That more than anything is the hardest thing to overcome. For the first time in my life I feel like my life SUCKS. I've been so blessed through the years and now this. For the first time in my life I HATE the holidays. How can this be? For the first time in my life, I have NO life.