3 Days before my surgery
I feel that I need to be spirtual and positive. Some days I really don't have the energy. I've gotten used to the fact that this infertility is our situation. I guess in a way things balance out. I've always been pretty blessed, I did not have a particularly rough life and I guess this balances that. I wake up next to the love of my life everyday. What kills me is that he's going through this too. My husband is so good to me and I love him so that it kills me that I cannot just "give" him children like he deserves. All I want was children that had the same gorgeous brown eyes and mannerism as their father. Its such a struggle sometimes. I do not want to stop trying, but I want to stop feeling this way. I feel like I'm being punished for something I did. I can't think of anything so terrible that my punishment is to be denied children.