3/31/11 Life WILL AND MUST GO ON...

GOD IS GOOD!!! I MUST ALWAYS ACKNOWLEDGE THIS. Grandma just came and picked up Amari. He just loves himself some Grandma. I sometimes wonder how he reacts when he sees his father. I don't affiliate myself with him AT ALL. I don't answer any calls, don't respond to texts, don't call back after he leaves messages. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! So I have no idea how baby reacts to this BOY. His mother tells me he (the father) cries alot when he sees him. I see his eyes and his facial expressions in photos his mom sends me. YET I HAVE NO SYMPATHY! Why should I? I/we wasn't a thought when he was disrespecting me/our relationship. In fact the more I think about it, I realize. I was pregnant for 9 long months. 3 months shy of a YEAR that I walked around carrying his gift of LIFE, and all along he was Satan dressed in a man's clothing. HE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR DOING ALL THAT HE DID..OTHER PURE UNADULTERATED SELFISHNESS. IT WAS ALL ABOUT HIM. I'm okay with that now. I am more angry at the fact that he would stick me with a baby and then expose the FACT that he WAS NEVER EVER WORTHY OF ME, MY LOVE, OR THIS BEAUTIFUL CHILD. All I can do now is ask GOD to help me forgive this demon, so that I will be forgiven for any sins I have committed. And allow me to move forward in the WALK OF LOVE.