2ww update & feeling negative

Thank you all for calming me down...this 2ww is so brutal! I ended up having an ok weekend and keeping busy even though I drove DH crazy asking about a million times "do you think what I just did counts as 'strenuous'"?? I've realized at this point, this is either going to work or it isn't. I don't think watering a plant is going to change the outcome but it's amazing to think my mind would even think that....goes to show how much the 2ww is a mindf*%k! Besides, at this point those embies are either implanted or not....I think I'm past that point and even if I'm not, either they will stick or they won't.....once again, this is out of my control (well, mostly, unless I do something totally crazy to prevent implantation which won't happen). Sadly, I am feeling very negative right now and that a BFN is coming. I can't explain it, its just a feeling I'm having that this didn't work. I'm also preparing myself for a BFN as a defense mechanism because last time the news really devastated me and I really don't want to go through that again. I'm wondering if I need to just start coming to terms with the fact I'm going to be 44 in a few months and the odds are just so against me that I'll ever get pregnant. I know I sound really negative right now, but it's just so hard to be hopeful and think positively.
Hope you all had nice weekends. Shouting out to all my DS sisters and sending love if you are struggling, sending baby dust for however your miracle comes your way and congrats to those with recent BFPs! xoxo

Replies

ktk7779413
ktk7779413

Thinking of you. It\'s hard to stay positive but I am rooting for you. xoxo
CaliCutie81
CaliCutie81

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way! I know the 2WW is a bitch, just hang in there and let your DS Sisters hold onto hope for ya!
XOXO ((HUGS))
krjohnson1980
krjohnson1980

I think we all get a little cray cray during the 2ww! Hoping the best for you! I think the lack of control is the hardest to deal with so you constantly freaking out about what\'s strenuous is your way of controlling the outcome...YES I know how you feel! Baby dust your way!
GirlAtHeart
GirlAtHeart

Oh please don\'t be too hard on yourself. We\'ve all been there, second-guessing if the activity we just did was wrong, etc. The process is just so hard all around. Hang in there.
HaveFaith24
HaveFaith24

Well I am going to have some positivity since your having a hard time doing it, and I completely understand! Come on BFP! Crossing my fingers and sending lots of baby dust your way! You so deserve this! xoxo
Nellysgirl
Nellysgirl

I laughed out loud when you said the \"watering a plant won\'t keep you from getting preggo\" thing. I do the same thing, so I get it. I\'m so sorry your just not \"in it\" this time around. It is really hard to bring ourselves up so high just to have them possibly fall so hard later. Hang in there girl, we\'re all rooting for ya!!
RoxyD
RoxyD

It\'s so hard to stay positive during a TWW. If it make you feel better I\'ve had BFPs with no symptoms so try not to only focus on that. I know it\'s impossible. Your mind just looks for signs. You\'ll make it and I hope when your TWW is over that you get your BFP.
georgiakeen2127
georgiakeen2127

Praying for you! The two week wait was the hardest for me!
Kelly0713
Kelly0713

oh honey - i hope that you get your good news soon!
kevsgirl9797
kevsgirl9797

Fingers crossed for good news!! I had that same feeling that it didn\'t work during my 2WW. You\'re not crazy, and it doesn\'t mean it didn\'t work. Just hang in there girl. We\'re all pulling for you. :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Well you are halfway through and that is usually when we tend to lose it. Last two cycles I thought for sure they hadn\'t worked, but one did. Try not to read too much into symptoms as everyone is different. Praying for you!
alanabanana
alanabanana

I\'m sorry the 2ww is so hard. The negativity is a defense mechanism, and completely normal. I am rooting for you and hoping your body surprises you with a BFP.
Andi60857
Andi60857

The TWW really is brutal, sorry it\'s been so tough on you! I hope your feeling is wrong and that you will get your BFP! I am praying that is the case! Big hugs!
vmarie3
vmarie3

Sending love and positivity your way. Praying for a BFP so you can really say \"Age Ain\'t nothin but a number!\"
deleted_user
deleted_user

HUGS all around.....