2ww is making me a neurotic mess
I posted on the main board but because this 2ww is making me neurotic, I decided to write a journal entry too. So today I went back to work. I was feeling ok about it but I keep forgetting that I'm supposed to sorta limit my activity and not do anything strenuous or lift more than 20 lbs and I kept catching myself doing things that I'm sure are probably fine (like bending, walking too fast, stairs, etc.) and then I freak out thinking I am "ruining" the implantation and the embies sticking. DH is watching baseball (we have one tv and he is a huge baseball fan so he sorta gets custody of the tv in summer and I get custody the rest of the year) and although I'm a baseball fan, I wasn't into watching the game tonight. So I decided to do some minor things around the house - water the plants, change the water in a vase, but then I decided I wanted to move this floor vase but realized it was probably too heavy so I pushed it slightly and then I stopped and was like "OH NO WHAT AM I DOING!?!" and then DH jumped up and got mad at me and was like, why are you doing this, sit down and relax! It's sooo hard to just sit around sometimes. Anyway, I probably didn't do any damage, but I'm freaking out nonetheless and worried. I just couldn't live with myself if I knew my boredom led me to do things that I shouldn't have and that's why I didn't get pregnant!!!! I want to believe that if these embies are meant to stick, they will but that's sooo hard. I swear, the 2ww after IVF is so much more brutal and plays such mind games UGH!!!!!!!
Replies
It definitely is brutal. Try to relax and lounge around.
Don\'t stress about what you did today. The way I had it explained to me is that the uterus is like a peanut butter jar, if you stick a seed in the center of the peanut butter jar if shake it a little it\'s not going to fall out. Either the embryo is the magic one or it isn\'t.
I am crossing my fingers for you. Now go lay down!!!
Oh boy is a TWW hard when you\'re PUPO. When you think about girls drink, do drugs, exercise like crazy and eat crap. I\'m sure touching a plant won\'t ruin your chances.
My RE always says there\'s nothing you can do to make your embries come out and I have to say, I saw what it looks like in there with my last hystero and haveto agree.
Just try to relax.
I was the same way during my 2ww. Things would happen that I was convinced \"ruined\" everything, and it turned out fine. The peanut butter analogy is a good one. I think we\'re used to thinking of our lady parts more like slip and slides, given our histories! LOL You haven\'t done anything to ruin it. Just try and relax and do something calming and/or happy for you. Endorphins are always a good thing! If it worked, or not, is completely out of your control. Hoping it did, though.
DH always yelled at me too. I always looked at it as most women just go about their day no differently so why should I?
How are you doing today? I HATED bedrest. My clinic recommended 2 days - but I\'ve heard some say just a few hours to 3 days. And while I got up a few more times then they recommended, I had to keep remembering that nothing was going to make them fall out. DH was so on top of everything I did too. And with all the drugs we have to take, it\'s a wonder I didn\'t smack him. ;)
Hang in there my friend! sounds like you are doing all the right things. I pray this is it for you. Xoxo
Don\'t be too hard on yourself. You are doing great and just keep things to a minimum. I can imagine the 2ww after IVF is much more intense. I\'m thinking of you and praying you get your miracle baby! xo
I was the same way!! I went to a wedding on my last day of rest and it was so hard not to dance, I ended up dancing a little! It was mostly swaying, but I couldn\'t help myself! I was also on my feet that whole night, and afterward I was wracked with guilt that I shouldn\'t have been doing all that, and that I may have just ruined everything! Of course, it all turned out fine. But it is totally brutal when you\'re in the middle of it! Hang in there, it\'ll be over before you know it, and then you\'ll have a BFP!!! Sticky baby dust to you!!
2WW is hard!! I can totally relate to your struggles and actually not looking forward to the 2WW that I will have later this month after FET #2. I know it\'s easier said than done, but try to keep your mind off of things and stay busy!! I took a whole week off after FET #1 and it was probably the worst thing that I did. Too much to think about when you aren\'t working or occupied with something else! GL and hoping that you get your BFP!
I hate the 2WW! I was the same way after my IUI even though the doc said I should stick with the things I normally do but I\'m sure it\'s totally different with IVF. Hang in there! I hope this is it for you!!!!
My last 2ww was horrible! I remember that my husband didn\'t let me lift more than 5-10 lbs when I was in his sight and it made me crazy. I was not an invalid, for crying out loud...I\'m an independent woman. :) Remember though, women get pregnant all the time and stick with their normal routines long before they even know they are pregnant (like during the 2ww). Do try to take it easy, but don\'t panic if you suddenly realize that you are doing more than you probably should. Just slow down a bit. Good luck...hoping you get that BFP!