2nd Massive Temptation (worse than the 1st)
My first "victory" I'll call it.
There were tons of risk factors: Alone, in a swanky place, an attractive "target" who clearly reciprocated, wife not talking to me, free alcohol, low sleep/late nights.
Pattern:
- Noticed the OW, she noticed me
- Ignored for a while
- Thought it was "all clear" when she and I compared notes that we were married with kids. Thought, "oh, this can just be a friendly/professional association"
- Later that night, comparing travel notes and noticing many shared experiences/values
- She admits she's separated and divorcing (uh oh)
- Spent next 4 hours talking (is it SERIOUSLY 1 a.m.??!)
- Went swimming, then hot tub.
- Was practicing restraint (no touching, no talk of feelings)
This set me up for a full blown crisis and I knew it. Knew the next night would be irresistible.
- Established a support structure (SAA buddies, Online buddies, real-live buddy at the conference)
- Spent the morning making a plan to avoid the evening showdown
- Followed the plan, despite numerous temptations to break off
- Went to bed before most of the "crowd." Alone! Victory!
Felt awful about it, like I'm missing a delicious treat.
There were tons of risk factors: Alone, in a swanky place, an attractive "target" who clearly reciprocated, wife not talking to me, free alcohol, low sleep/late nights.
Pattern:
- Noticed the OW, she noticed me
- Ignored for a while
- Thought it was "all clear" when she and I compared notes that we were married with kids. Thought, "oh, this can just be a friendly/professional association"
- Later that night, comparing travel notes and noticing many shared experiences/values
- She admits she's separated and divorcing (uh oh)
- Spent next 4 hours talking (is it SERIOUSLY 1 a.m.??!)
- Went swimming, then hot tub.
- Was practicing restraint (no touching, no talk of feelings)
This set me up for a full blown crisis and I knew it. Knew the next night would be irresistible.
- Established a support structure (SAA buddies, Online buddies, real-live buddy at the conference)
- Spent the morning making a plan to avoid the evening showdown
- Followed the plan, despite numerous temptations to break off
- Went to bed before most of the "crowd." Alone! Victory!
Felt awful about it, like I'm missing a delicious treat.
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