2011
It is now January 1, 2011. Lisa has been gone for over a year and I still can't believe it. It seems more unreal than it did a year ago. I am sitting here listening to music and avoiding going to bed because I will just cry.
I am also waiting for my granddaughter and her dad to come back. They went skiing and to spend New Years with Harvey's family in Canmore. They likely won't be back til 2 or 3 a.m. I won't be able to sleep, knowing they will be on the highway in the middle of the night. I don't know if anyone else is as anxious as me about losing another family member. I literally get panic stricken with worry.
I want to look forward to the new year but I am having a hard time. I want to be optimistic - I want to be the old me with my old life. I want to see the bright side but right now I can't.
I feel sorry for my husband Joe. I know he is worried about me. At midnight, he kissed me and said he hopes that I can be happier in 2011. I burst out crying. His comment was "Well that's a good start!" We had a chuckle about that.
Enough whining.
I am so glad for FMO - nobody really understands the pain and longing when a child is taken away. I get tired of people who mean well and tell me about their pain at the loss of an aging parent. I've lost both my parents and it does not compare. Thank you all for the support and caring.
I wish each and every one of you peace, hope and love in 2011.
I am also waiting for my granddaughter and her dad to come back. They went skiing and to spend New Years with Harvey's family in Canmore. They likely won't be back til 2 or 3 a.m. I won't be able to sleep, knowing they will be on the highway in the middle of the night. I don't know if anyone else is as anxious as me about losing another family member. I literally get panic stricken with worry.
I want to look forward to the new year but I am having a hard time. I want to be optimistic - I want to be the old me with my old life. I want to see the bright side but right now I can't.
I feel sorry for my husband Joe. I know he is worried about me. At midnight, he kissed me and said he hopes that I can be happier in 2011. I burst out crying. His comment was "Well that's a good start!" We had a chuckle about that.
Enough whining.
I am so glad for FMO - nobody really understands the pain and longing when a child is taken away. I get tired of people who mean well and tell me about their pain at the loss of an aging parent. I've lost both my parents and it does not compare. Thank you all for the support and caring.
I wish each and every one of you peace, hope and love in 2011.
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